


next to me

by baylishmaylie



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: :), F/M, Gift Exchange, I was going to have them kiss but I decided it would be too rushed so I'm sorry, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, OOC Kylo and Rey, Rey Needs A Hug, Reylo - Freeform, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, a whole lotta fluff, also some banter, and he can't talk to rey about it because he knows she'll be mad, and to understand that his emotions are normal and human, but hey it's not bad (I think), but seriously he just needs someone to appreciate him, even if he expresses them a little differently than most, everybody needs a hug, hetswap 2018, including me, k bye, okay at this point I'm just writing these tags to avoid writing the actual fic, this is mainly just kylo being exasperated because he feels like no one appreciates him, written by an inexperienced star wars fan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 02:38:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14178717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baylishmaylie/pseuds/baylishmaylie
Summary: Opening a package of First Order logoed fruit snacks (a new brand of First Order propaganda he came up with –(“It’ll appeal to the younger audiences!” “Sure, Supreme Leader, whatever you say”), Kylo groaned, laid his head back on his pillow, and thought of Rey.~or~No one is taking Kylo Ren seriously as Supreme Leader. Rey would know what to do. Right?





	next to me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kereia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kereia/gifts).



> For [kereia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kereia/pseuds/kereia) as a part of the [Het Swap 2018 Exchange](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/HetSwap2018). Hope you like it, kereia!
> 
> PS: Jim the Porg is a reference to a great fic (kinda crack, but it's still amazing) by [Moonlightkitten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlightkitten/pseuds/Moonlightkitten) called Hairdresser. I ship Jim and Hux, by the way :)

“I’m far from good, it’s true,

but still I find you

next to me”

Imagine Dragons - Next to Me

>< 

It had happened a few times now. And Kylo wasn’t complaining.

When she said goodbye to him on Crait – well, it wasn’t really saying goodbye if they didn’t speak, was it? – he thought she would shut out their Force bond completely.

Apparently, that didn’t really matter when they were sleeping.

The first time, he couldn’t think for a few minutes. Trying to figure out if something’s real or why it’s happening or making sure it’s really her took up most of his mental capacity (which, at this point, was mostly taken up trying to think of ways to make people take him seriously as Supreme Leader). But when he finally got his act together, he determined she wouldn’t want to wake up to find herself in his bed, even if he wouldn’t mind if she stayed, so he blocked her out for the rest of the night. He was exhausted, distracted, unfocused, flustered, and a whole swell of other emotions for the entire week – emotions he hadn’t let himself feel until _she_ showed up, taking up every waking moment, turning his life upside down, unhinging him completely. That part didn’t scare him, though. Not really.

What did scare him was the fact that he _liked_ this feeling.

>< 

**ONE WEEK LATER**

>< 

He was just so _tired_. Being Supreme Leader was more taxing than he initially thought. He’d actually considered giving control to Hux multiple times before realizing that Hux was already insufferable enough as it was. If anything, it would make Kylo’s life even more stressful, and Hux would never let it go, so he decided against it. He had to attend these stupid meetings every week (and sometimes more than that if something came up, which was almost every week), and _no one_ took him seriously. They looked at him as a sensitive crybaby.

 After a particularly demanding conference session _(“Supreme Leader, if you would just-” “Supreme Leader, that is a terrible idea-” “Supreme leader, let me take over that operation; it’ll be ten times better - sorry, easier for you-”_ ), he stormed to his bedroom, slammed the door, and collapsed on his bed. The session had lasted until after dark, and only because everyone thought his ideas were awful. Why no one thought he was capable was beyond him. They were treating him like an emotional toddler who just wanted a snack. _Okay, maybe the snack part is true,_ he thought, _but that doesn’t necessarily mean I_ am _a toddler._ Opening a package of First Order logoed fruit snacks (a new brand of First Order propaganda he came up with – _“It’ll appeal to the younger audiences!” “Sure, Supreme Leader, whatever you say”_ ), he groaned, laid his head back on his pillow, and thought of Rey. She could give him advice on being a leader. But before he could take action, someone knocked on his door. He swiftly hid the fruit snacks under his pillow and went to answer it.

“What do you want, Hux?” _Is that… a_ porg _following him?!_

“Apparently, Colonel Kaplan wants to see you.”

Kylo sighed. “Why?”

“I don’t know-”

“Then I’m not going.”

“B-but Supreme Leader-”

“I am not going. I am human; therefore, I need sleep. Leave me alone.”

He then slammed the door in Hux’s face.

“Supreme Leader-” His voice was muffled through the door.

“ _Shut up,_ or I will _literally_ kill you.”

“But sir-”

“ _And_ that porg.”

There was a moment of silence. Hux then mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like _“his name is Jim”_ and his footsteps could be heard shuffling away. That was one thing Kylo could stand about being Supreme Leader: people were scared of him. That was about the only perk, though. Any time he wasn’t being threatening, he ended up being the laughingstock of the First Order.

After a few minutes of sulking, Kylo fished the fruit snacks out from underneath his pillow (there were a lot of wrappers that he was too lazy to put in the trash can) and popped one in his mouth. He finished the package, got into the shower, changed, and got into bed.

>< 

He woke up early the next morning for no reason at all, about two hours before his alarm was supposed to go off. He groaned and turned over, trying to get back to sleep, and jumped.

There was a certain brown-haired girl in his bed. Again.

It was sort of sad, he supposed, that even if she was facing away from him in the bed, he could still identify her. Then again, who else would show up in his bed at night? He sighed, not having the willpower to block her out, and decided to pretend to be oblivious if she woke up. But for now…

His fingers gradually moved up to her hair. He was struck by how similar it was to his mother’s. He hadn’t seen her – face to face at least – in years. He remembered, as a child, when Leia’s hair wasn’t in the intricately braided buns they were usually in, he loved to run his fingers through it. She liked it too, apparently, because whenever she was stressed about anything (a lot of the time, it was actually Han she was stressed about), she would ask him to play with it. Rey’s hair was beautiful, a little lighter of a color than his mother’s, but similar enough to remind him of what could have been. He ran his fingers through her hair, marveling at how rich it looked. He could get lost in that color for days on end, if he wanted to (he most certainly did, but he wouldn’t let anyone know that). He decided to braid it – that is, until his fingers got caught in a tangle and yanked on her scalp a little harder than intended. She jerked awake and turned around. They made eye contact for a split second before she left him there, in his bed, confused, but wanting more of her.

He didn’t get any sleep for the rest of the night.

>< 

Rey was sitting on her bed (really a cot, more like) in the small excuse of a Resistance base. She was trying to decipher the ancient Jedi texts, but she couldn’t for the life of her figure them out. It was almost three in the morning, and she hadn’t been able to sleep very well since that night, the night she woke up in Ben’s – _no, Kylo Ren’s_ – room, with him - braiding her hair…? Rey was lost on that one. But she was scared of it happening again, so she tried to occupy herself with the Jedi texts. They worked at first, until she realized she couldn’t read the words on the page and dozed off every sentence or two. Rey banged her head on the wall lightly, then a little harder, and then a little _too_ hard, and her head began throbbing. Instantly, _something_ felt off, then-

“What are you _doing?_ ”

Rey jumped, covered up the Jedi texts, and realized it was _him_ again.

“I’m just – reading the Jed – um, these books,” Rey finished lamely.

“And that involves banging your head on a wall?” Ben asked, shaking his head.

“Well, not necessarily-”

“So why were you hitting your head?”

“Because I – because - _hey!_ ” He moved next to her and pushed her arms out of the way. They tingled where he touched her.

“It’s in another language?!” Ben was incredulous. “Why the _hell_ are you even trying to read it, then?”

“Because – reasons.”

“I’m actually surprised you’re putting up with this.”

“I’m going to stop putting up with it if you keep this up.”

“Okay, then what do you suggest I do instead?”

“Maybe help me comprehend what this kriffing thing means?”

“You’ll have to let me see the book-”

“No.”

“I can’t read it if you’re holding it unless I sit on the bed next to you.”

“Well, that’s unfortunate for you, because I’m not giving you the book – no – that is definitely _not_ what I meant-”

Of course, he had gotten up into the bed next to her.

She quite liked it. But she wasn’t about to let him know that.

The cot was so small that they were forced to be almost on top of one another if they didn’t want to fall off the sides. He leaned over her shoulder, said, “Oh, this is in Aurebesh!”, and started to read.

>< 

She tried not to. She really did. But he seemed to be so captivated by the book that she thought, _He won’t notice,_ and started, for a lack of better words, analyzing him. She noticed the scar down his face, the angle of his nose, the deep brown of his eyes, the ebony in his hair. She was enchanted by him. So enchanted, in fact, that she failed to realize Ben was done reading the chapter until it was too late.

He looked up at her and laughed. “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing.” She _wouldn’t_ let him fluster her this time.

“Sure.”

A beat passed between them.

“Well, what does it say?”

“Just some introductory things about the Force and the Jedi Council and stuff. Why are you so interested in this thing, anyway?”

“No reason. Just some light reading.”

He gave her a look.

“Don’t mock me, or this arrangement will not continue.”

“I didn’t know there was even an arrangement here.”

“You’ll have to come back to finish translating this for me, won’t you?”

“Okay, sure. On one condition.”

“And what would that be?”

“You have to help me with one of my problems, too.”

“Problems? I didn’t know Supreme Leaders had problems.” Rey smiled.

“Well, that’s kind of the thing. I – well – I’m not the greatest leader, apparently.”

Rey scoffed and opened her mouth to reply but heard an excited yell and the words were lost in her throat.

“Rey! Rey!! I have something to show you! _Rey!_ ”

“Is that – the defected stormtrooper?”

“Yes,” Rey replied, “so you should probably go.”

He looked - was that hurt? - as he disconnected the Force bond, and she was alone.

>< 

The next time he saw her was that night. He was in his bed, trying to sleep, when he felt _something_ in the Force. At this point, he had come to expect these strange shifts to mean Rey was here. He turned around and saw her standing there.

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

“No, you’re fine.”

“So, did you want to do those leadership lessons or something?”

“Actually – can we talk about anything but that?”

“Yeah, if you want to.”

He just wanted anything to take his mind off what he’d been thinking about all day – why was Rey, a scavenger girl from Jakku, so well liked by the Resistance, and him, the son of General Leia Organa and Han Solo treated so condescendingly by the First Order? Even if Rey was causing this conflict, he might be able to pick up some tricks from her. And even if she couldn’t give him that, he enjoyed her company.

Rey interrupted his silence with an inquiry of “So, um, how was your day?” to which he responded, “Please, for the love of the Force, not that either.” It was like any other day, and he didn’t think he could handle it. And thus was his evening, dancing around certain topics they didn’t want to deal with, each using the other to avoid talking about their issues. It wasn’t easy, but it was perfect, an escape from life and anything that might be going wrong. _That’s what we are, aren’t we?_ he thought. They were detours, avoidances, evasions, but they were so much more than that. Or, at least, that’s what he liked to think.

Eventually, they both lapsed into a comfortable silence. A few minutes passed before Rey fell asleep ( _right there!)_ , and Kylo – _maybe Ben, to her_ – found himself thinking.

_We're far from simple, but at least she’s here, next to me._

**Author's Note:**

> This was really freaking hard to write because I've never written Reylo before and I'm not a big enough fan to know all the names of all the planets, the specifics of how the Force works, or anything like that. Thanks to y'all for reading (especially kereia :3)!! Please leave kudos and comments (esp. with feedback (yes it can be critical, but not too mean), that would be greatly appreciated!!)


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